Dunbagbap is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, boastful dugong.

Dunbagbap created a Higgs boson eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dunbagbap, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dunbagbap, he will turn you into a rat.

Dunbagbap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Dunbagbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near turtles.

2. Never write about dwarf planets.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Run away if three goats approach from the south.