Rotarfgutkab is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, awesome lobster.

Rotarfgutkab created an atom six billion years ago.

If you believe in Rotarfgutkab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Rotarfgutkab, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Rotarfgutkab's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Rotarfgutkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Never think about thermodynamics.

3. Do not keep five doves in a large pit.

4. Never wear cyan jumpers.

5. You must never eat grapes.