Tipwatfon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, overgenerous centipede.

Tipwatfon created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tipwatfon, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tipwatfon, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tipwatfon's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tipwatfon's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

2. Never wear tights.

3. You must never eat lemons.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not take Tipwatfon's name in vain.