Veentinkanparkbafcunsanweg is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, impressive mongoose.

Veentinkanparkbafcunsanweg created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veentinkanparkbafcunsanweg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Veentinkanparkbafcunsanweg, she will throw large rocks at you.

Veentinkanparkbafcunsanweg's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Veentinkanparkbafcunsanweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear violet clothing.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Run away from purple ducks, for they are unholy.

5. Do not stand on grass.