Gamarpcum is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unsympathetic skunk.

Gamarpcum created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Gamarpcum, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gamarpcum, she will refuse to believe in you.

Gamarpcum's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Gamarpcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt eagles.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.