Hotquimven is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, almighty wolf.

Hotquimven created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotquimven, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hotquimven, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hotquimven's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Hotquimven's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near otters while wearing white coats.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.