Timlandit is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unfair swallow.

Timlandit created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timlandit, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Timlandit, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Timlandit's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Timlandit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Timlandit in the centre of the settlement.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.