Bembigceb is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, overgenerous chicken.

Bembigceb created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bembigceb, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bembigceb, he will turn you into a mouse.

Bembigceb's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bembigceb's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about dark matter near manatees while wearing blue tights.

4. Always help sick bats.

5. Do not dye your hair black.