Spaggad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, astonishing dove.

Spaggad created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spaggad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Spaggad, he will jump up and down on your head.

Spaggad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Spaggad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ducks.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Worship no other gods but Spaggad.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not chop down trees.