Bessxemgep is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unthinking swallow.

Bessxemgep created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bessxemgep, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bessxemgep, she will turn you into a tree.

Bessxemgep's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bessxemgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not keep nine cats in a large pit.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Never feed turnips to snails while wearing shorts.