Vaghiv is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish wolf.

Vaghiv created light four years ago.

If you believe in Vaghiv, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vaghiv, he will turn you into a rock.

Vaghiv's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Vaghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not speak about bananas.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near squirrels while wearing magenta shorts.

5. Always wear turquoise.