Hotcunwip is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, conceited bear.

Hotcunwip created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotcunwip, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hotcunwip, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hotcunwip's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Hotcunwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hotcunwip.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Hotcunwip on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Always help pigs in need.