Quatkondoss is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, tiresome otter.

Quatkondoss created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quatkondoss, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quatkondoss, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Quatkondoss' most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Quatkondoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Quatkondoss must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not keep four porpoises in a large pit.