Rapbenbamhen Jabsomfubkar Cembossfon is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unthinking chicken.

Rapbenbamhen Jabsomfubkar Cembossfon created the Sunflower Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rapbenbamhen Jabsomfubkar Cembossfon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rapbenbamhen Jabsomfubkar Cembossfon, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Rapbenbamhen Jabsomfubkar Cembossfon's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Rapbenbamhen Jabsomfubkar Cembossfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Put Rapbenbamhen Jabsomfubkar Cembossfon first in all things.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not kill ducks.