Tunladtam is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy grasshopper.

Tunladtam created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunladtam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tunladtam, he will manifest in front of you.

Tunladtam's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tunladtam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Never paint your chest cyan.

3. Tunladtam loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.