Larptalcun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, tranquil butterfly.

Larptalcun created the planet Mars seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larptalcun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larptalcun, he will send minions to preach to you.

Larptalcun's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Larptalcun's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry moths.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

3. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

4. Never wear indigo trousers.

5. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.