Fosstigcunwat is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, charitable rat.

Fosstigcunwat created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fosstigcunwat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fosstigcunwat, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fosstigcunwat's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Fosstigcunwat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine badgers approach from the east.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never feed wheat to geese while wearing violet trousers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near voles while wearing red shorts and balancing six lead spheres on your arms.