Quartsattetti is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, idiotic fish.

Quartsattetti created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartsattetti, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Quartsattetti, she will turn you into a frog.

Quartsattetti's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Quartsattetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never paint your hands violet.

5. Hide if eight voles approach from the north.