Kapyambatxin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, benevolent parrot.

Kapyambatxin created the Sol system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapyambatxin, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kapyambatxin, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kapyambatxin's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Kapyambatxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Retreat if six moths approach from the north.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never hurt whales.