Talpigkan Cissdanken is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful fairy.

Talpigkan Cissdanken created the Virgo Supercluster seven million years ago.

If you believe in Talpigkan Cissdanken, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Talpigkan Cissdanken, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Talpigkan Cissdanken's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Talpigkan Cissdanken's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never eat gooseberries.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.