Dumjinbonban is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, pitiless hyena.

Dumjinbonban created a down quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumjinbonban, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dumjinbonban, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Dumjinbonban's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Dumjinbonban's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet moths for they are unholy.

2. Never feed lots of garlic to mice while wearing brown tights.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never laugh near capybaras.

5. Never talk about planets.