Kamfabdamgess is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, astonishing swan.

Kamfabdamgess created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamfabdamgess, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kamfabdamgess, he will curse you with boils.

Kamfabdamgess' most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Kamfabdamgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Erect seven lead sculptures of Kamfabdamgess on top of important buildings.

5. You must love Kamfabdamgess.