Yattwonfud is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, loving jaguar.

Yattwonfud created the Whirlpool Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattwonfud, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yattwonfud, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Yattwonfud's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Yattwonfud's Holy Commandments

1. Dogs are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always help great tits.