Sawcussgupvonkgepflow is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, intelligent mongoose.

Sawcussgupvonkgepflow created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawcussgupvonkgepflow, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sawcussgupvonkgepflow, he will be very sad.

Sawcussgupvonkgepflow's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Sawcussgupvonkgepflow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Hide from indigo snakes for they are unholy.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.