Satsidweg is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, witty swallow.

Satsidweg created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satsidweg, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Satsidweg, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Satsidweg's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Satsidweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near nematodes while wearing indigo scarves and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your hands.

2. Never eat turnips.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near capybaras while wearing violet ear rings and balancing nine zinc spheres on your neck.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never hurt seals.