Xucbitjen Metdavdap is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, irritating skunk.

Xucbitjen Metdavdap created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucbitjen Metdavdap, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xucbitjen Metdavdap, it will turn you into a hamster.

Xucbitjen Metdavdap's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Xucbitjen Metdavdap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not dye your hair pink.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Put Xucbitjen Metdavdap first in all things.