Jongudbam Jipmiphim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, smart seal.

Jongudbam Jipmiphim created silver two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jongudbam Jipmiphim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jongudbam Jipmiphim, he will be very sad.

Jongudbam Jipmiphim's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Jongudbam Jipmiphim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near cats while wearing red skirts.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Always look after injured voles.

4. Run away if eight squirrels approach from the south.

5. Jongudbam Jipmiphim loves doves, so they must be respected.