Cemnurtdib is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, irritating wasp.

Cemnurtdib created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cemnurtdib, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cemnurtdib, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cemnurtdib's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Cemnurtdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cemnurtdib.

3. Never wear purple skirts.

4. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.