Timkadcadtomwottifmidjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witty skunk.

Timkadcadtomwottifmidjarn created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timkadcadtomwottifmidjarn, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Timkadcadtomwottifmidjarn, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Timkadcadtomwottifmidjarn's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Timkadcadtomwottifmidjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.