Nartfarnnell is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unjust porpoise.

Nartfarnnell created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nartfarnnell, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Nartfarnnell, he will turn you into a rat.

Nartfarnnell's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Nartfarnnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Nartfarnnell in the centre of the settlement.

4. Nartfarnnell loves snails, so they must be honoured.

5. Worship no other gods but Nartfarnnell.