Largparkbat is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, omniscient wyrm.

Largparkbat created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Largparkbat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Largparkbat, she will turn you into a mole.

Largparkbat's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Largparkbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of grapes to whales while wearing pink boots.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not hurt dogs.