Baddagbam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless turtle.

Baddagbam created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Baddagbam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Baddagbam, she will come to you in dreams.

Baddagbam's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Baddagbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never wear white shoes.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Hide from brown ants for they are unholy.