Konlimyim Milnakmisnutbid is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unjust shrew.

Konlimyim Milnakmisnutbid created time and space six billion years ago.

If you believe in Konlimyim Milnakmisnutbid, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Konlimyim Milnakmisnutbid, he will be very unhappy.

Konlimyim Milnakmisnutbid's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Konlimyim Milnakmisnutbid's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to geese while wearing pink kilts.

3. Never jump in the presence of birds.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about monkeys.