Bepbonrow Hapjopmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, overgenerous elephant.

Bepbonrow Hapjopmeg created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepbonrow Hapjopmeg, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bepbonrow Hapjopmeg, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Bepbonrow Hapjopmeg's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bepbonrow Hapjopmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not kill frogs.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Do not commit murder.