Pangquafhonhap is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, slow wolf.

Pangquafhonhap created gold nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pangquafhonhap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pangquafhonhap, she will ignore you.

Pangquafhonhap's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Pangquafhonhap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn aardvarks, for they are unholy.

2. Do not kill whales.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never mention pigs.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.