Saggamkan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring grasshopper.

Saggamkan created the Sombrero Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saggamkan, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Saggamkan, it will turn you into a frog.

Saggamkan's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Saggamkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not hurt bats.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Learn four new languages a year.