Bimzedjen is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, uncaring alligator.

Bimzedjen created the Whirlpool Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimzedjen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bimzedjen, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bimzedjen's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bimzedjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to doves while wearing trousers.

2. Put Bimzedjen first in all things.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Bimzedjen in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never feed parsnips to monkeys while wearing black hats.