Gatrilfemsad is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, happy warg.

Gatrilfemsad created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatrilfemsad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gatrilfemsad, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gatrilfemsad's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gatrilfemsad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Gatrilfemsad in the centre of the settlement.

2. Gatrilfemsad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Erect six carbon sculptures of Gatrilfemsad on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near ducks while wearing green skirts.

5. Never look in ponds.