Ontfumdan Buddogcar is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, conceited gorilla.

Ontfumdan Buddogcar created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontfumdan Buddogcar, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ontfumdan Buddogcar, he will strike you with lightening.

Ontfumdan Buddogcar's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Ontfumdan Buddogcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near dogs.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not skip in public.