Fodvangam is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, intelligent toad.

Fodvangam created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodvangam, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fodvangam, she will turn you into a sheep.

Fodvangam's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fodvangam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five aardvarks approach from the east.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always wear red.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near snakes while wearing fawn trousers and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your neck.