Xemnadkip is a god.

She takes the form of a large, quiet clam.

Xemnadkip created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Xemnadkip, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Xemnadkip, she will turn you into a goat.

Xemnadkip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Xemnadkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near birds while wearing purple skirts.

3. Always look after injured turtles.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Xemnadkip on top of important buildings.