Flatlatlin is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, confident seal.

Flatlatlin created an atom eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatlatlin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flatlatlin, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Flatlatlin's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Flatlatlin's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flatlatlin.

2. Never write about fluid mechanics.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

5. Never look at planets.