Quamdudnan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, pitiless crab.

Quamdudnan created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Quamdudnan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quamdudnan, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Quamdudnan's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Quamdudnan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Quamdudnan in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Hide if three foxes approach from the south.

4. Never run in the presence of mites.

5. Always treat great tits with great respect.