Cadlapfub is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, strong rat.

Cadlapfub created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadlapfub, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cadlapfub, it will think nothing of it.

Cadlapfub's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Cadlapfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. Never think ill of sick bats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cadlapfub.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.