Sabtiplaptetti is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-powerful fish.

Sabtiplaptetti created time and space six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sabtiplaptetti, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sabtiplaptetti, he will turn you into a puffin.

Sabtiplaptetti's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sabtiplaptetti's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine iron sculptures of Sabtiplaptetti on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near rats while wearing yellow dresses and balancing four aluminium spheres on your face.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near dogs while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing five carbon spheres on your chest.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sabtiplaptetti.

5. Do not shave your neck.