Stanpagrandotvegwodtarp is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fussy wren.

Stanpagrandotvegwodtarp created a Higgs boson four million years ago.

If you believe in Stanpagrandotvegwodtarp, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Stanpagrandotvegwodtarp, she will turn you into a duck.

Stanpagrandotvegwodtarp's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Stanpagrandotvegwodtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near goats while wearing violet scarves and balancing three aluminium spheres on your neck.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about special relativity near birds while wearing red stockings.

5. Never feed spinach to hamsters while wearing skirts.