Dutlistkap is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, awe-inspiring horse.

Dutlistkap created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutlistkap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dutlistkap, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dutlistkap's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Dutlistkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Run away if seven gulls approach from the north.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.