Titzagcaphim Zenmipfut is a god.

She takes the form of a small, tiresome horse.

Titzagcaphim Zenmipfut created the Sun nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titzagcaphim Zenmipfut, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Titzagcaphim Zenmipfut, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Titzagcaphim Zenmipfut's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Titzagcaphim Zenmipfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Titzagcaphim Zenmipfut's name in vain.

2. You must love Titzagcaphim Zenmipfut.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never run in the presence of shrews.

5. Never think ill of sick birds.