Tifjipfon Flatnullwee is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, almighty skunk.

Tifjipfon Flatnullwee created the Virgo Supercluster six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifjipfon Flatnullwee, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tifjipfon Flatnullwee, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tifjipfon Flatnullwee's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tifjipfon Flatnullwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt pigs.

2. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Tifjipfon Flatnullwee in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.