Rankinzim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered whale.

Rankinzim created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rankinzim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Rankinzim, he will turn you into a frog.

Rankinzim's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Rankinzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of turnips to tapirs while wearing purple corsets.

2. Never feed aubergines to aardvarks while wearing black tights.

3. Never leap in the presence of dogs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.